Living With A Functional Alcoholic Spouse

This blog is for informational purposes only and should not be a substitute for medical advice. We understand that everyone’s situation is unique, and this content is to provide an overall understanding of substance use disorders. These disorders are very complex, and this post does not take into account the unique circumstances for every individual. For specific questions about your health needs or that of a loved one, seek the help of a healthcare professional. Arguments and fighting aren’t the only issues at play when you are married to a high-functioning alcoholic. Some women may follow the lead of the alcoholic husband in denial, and also pretend that nothing is wrong. There may be the temptation to enable, which could mean buying liquor to keep in the house or drinking with the alcoholic spouse .

When living with an alcoholic, some people have a difficult time knowing whether or not to stay in their relationship. However, setting boundaries and knowing not to enable the situation can help. People who are married to someone struggling with alcohol use disorder may also be in denial about the problem all together. Every person wants to believe the best about their spouse and in doing so, may decide that it is best to hide evidence of a problem. A spouse may want their friends and visiting relatives not to question why their husband is acting erratically, which creates a string of excuses. The major risk of suffering from alcohol use disorder is the very real probability that a tolerance to alcohol will develop.

The effects of living with an alcoholic are incredibly draining and have a significant long-term impact on children and partners. National Institutes of Health has determined that a functioning alcoholic is a specific subtype of alcoholism. Department of Health and Human Services calculated that functioning alcoholics make up almost 20% of the alcoholic population. Finally, it is imperative that you take action if you believe that your loved one may be at risk of a relapse. You don’t need to wait until the relapse has already occurred. If you believe your family member is in danger of drinking or using again, immediately take steps to provide a safe environment.

Over time, heavy drinking can cause irreversible destruction and scarring of liver tissue . How to Live with an Alcoholic Too much alcohol affects your speech, muscle coordination and vital centers of your brain.

Unfortunately, this causes the cycle to repeat…indefinitely. The present study findings are consistent to the available literature on same; however, the results highlight the role of culture and changing gender implications on their coping styles. The study, however, did not explore the subjective distress and pain the partners of alcoholic clients go through their lives as pure descriptive and cross-sectional assessment were done. The study also did not look into the association between demographic variables and coping styles used. Table 3 depicts the mean scores, range, and mean percent scores on domains of problems faced by the wives of alcoholics. As shown in Table 3, the mean percent scores were highest in emotional and social domain while lowest in the financial domain. There may be very little you can do to help someone with AUD until they are ready to get help, but you can stop letting someone’s drinking problem dominate your thoughts and your life.

Integrated Treatment For Alcoholism & Cooccurring Disorders

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• Online forums, such as the one on this site, can be an additional form of support.
• With over 20 years of proven experience, Clearview can help you or a loved one on the path to recovery from a mental health disorder or dual diagnosis.
• Alcoholism is obsessive by nature and cannot be controlled with willpower, or with the love of a couple or family.
• Too much alcohol affects your speech, muscle coordination and vital centers of your brain.
• Then comes that magic window when they finally get their fix.

Kristeen Cherney is a freelance writer and PhD candidate who specializes in covering topics related to mental disabilities, women’s health, skin health, diabetes, thyroid disease, asthma, and allergies. She’s also currently working on her dissertation, which explores intersections of disability studies and literacy studies. When she’s https://ecosoberhouse.com/ not researching or writing, Cherney enjoys getting outdoors as much as possible. Understand that recovery is a journey and not necessarily a one-time goal. Consider professional help or support for you and your family. A support group to build connections with others who are going through similar experiences can be beneficial.

What Is Considered 1 Drink?

However, if someone who enjoys social drinking significantly increases their consumption or regularly consumes more than the recommended quantity, AUD may eventually develop. Alcoholism, now known as alcohol use disorder, is a condition in which a person has a desire or physical need to consume alcohol, even though it has a negative impact on their life.

There are many options available to help people who care about alcoholics. Groups like Al-Anon offer peer support and access to other resources. Find at least one option that feels comfortable for you and gives you someone to turn to when you are struggling with your situation. Realizing your loved one is an alcoholic can feel jarring at first. In time, however, you could feel mentally and emotionally drained. Witnessing a family member, friend or coworker abuse alcohol can be very difficult.

Avoiding Relapse

You may begin to notice that a couple of beers after work has turned into a six-pack or even a case. As time goes on and tolerance increases, they may attempt to hide the growing problem, and a growing number of empty bottles or cans, from friends and family. While their appearance may not be any different and they can still fulfill their responsibilities, you’ll start to see a pattern develop of turning to alcohol to cope with family, work or personal issues. High-functioning alcoholism affects everyone in a household – not just the drinker. The language we use around people with addiction disorders are powerful enough to help or hurt them. Find out how you can help and be a positive influence in their journey to be alcohol-free.

• Some functioning alcoholics may also suffer from withdrawal symptoms when alcohol is suddenly taken away from them.
• Or recommend that they enter an intensive outpatient program to get back on track.
• When your loved one drinks or is experiencing withdrawal symptoms, their mood can become unpredictable.
• Interventions can be great for helping loved ones if they are adequately planned in a focused manner.
• You just happen to love someone who is probably going to need professional treatment to get healthy again.

This support will give you a safe place to heal and find encouragement from others. In time, alcoholism can hurt your relationship with your loved one. While they may appear kind and caring while they’re sober, alcohol can turn them into entirely different people. In some cases, this can lead to emotional or physical abuse.

Impact On Children

Having a beer with lunch, or celebrating a holiday during the daytime is far different than routinely having drinks during the day. Make sure to take connected symptoms such as lying about drinking, or hiding their actions seriously. An opposite warning symptom can be an attempt to make light of drinking often in order to normalize it. Instead, realize that it may take several talks before your family member agrees to think through what you say.

The first and most difficult step in the long-term recovery process is for them to admit they have a problem. Anytime a substance user moves from precontemplation to contemplation stage is a victory. In simple terms, precontemplation is not being aware there is a problem and contemplation stage is being aware there is a problem. Calling it an alcohol use disorder, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism NIAAA warns that only about 9% of identified alcoholics receive treatment.

If Your Loved One Needs Help

The high levels of anxiety, depression, neuroticism, and poor self-esteem are a few in the slope. Domestic violence, emotional violence, and financial violence are some of the frequently occurring and well-recognized problem faced by wives of alcoholics. Moreover, the alcoholic is so obsessed with drinking that he ignores the needs and situations of other family members and is unable to take up his expected roles and responsibilities. In such scenario, the functions which are normally carried by husbands often fall on the wives that further add to their burden and suffering. Spouses and partners are threatened and harmed by the behavior of their loved one while under the influence. Children face the greatest risk because the actions, words, and emotional distance of an alcoholic parent or guardian can cause lifelong trauma.

Over time, though, the spouse who withdraws simply waits while the problem gets worse, and in the meantime becomes more distant from friends and extended family. You do not influence your spouse’s or special one’s actions. This is the most critical consideration to bear in mind at all times. You must stand by them if they decide that care is essential and appropriate for their long-term recovery. When they’ve received therapy, you can try to keep them going in the right direction and away from alcohol to avoid a relapse.

These group meetings allow you to connect with others who can directly relate to your experiences and can provide a constant source of support and advice. Make no mistake, an alcoholic within a family can be extremely damaging if the situation is left to spiral unless boundaries are put in place to retain some measure of control. These boundaries, which need to be discussed and mutually accepted by both the alcoholic and their parents, will only work if they are fully respected after they have been established. One particular and often cited benchmark study “Substance Use, Risky Behaviors & Victimization Among a U.S. National Adolescent Sample” – an analysis of data collected from one year’s U.S. National Adolescent Student Health Survey – highlights perfectly the effects of high alcohol consumption on teenagers in the U.S. A new, first-of-its-kind study reveals a key link between alcohol consumption and poor sleep quality in a large sample of men and women.

This is an opportunity when your loved one’s family members, friends, and co-workers all come together to persuade them to stop drinking. It’s also important to have a neutral party present, such as a therapist. Having someone intoxicated on a consistent basis can be stressful and cause anxiety over what’s going to happen next. You might feel guilty about the situation, eventually leading to depression. Your loved one’s addiction might also start taking a financial toll.

It is important to understand that self-care, as a principle, is not self-indulgent or selfish. It simply means to take proactive steps to ensure your health and wellbeing, and it is vital if we are constantly presented with stressors in our lives, such as living and dealing with an alcoholic child. Therefore, find something you love – a hobby, sport or pastime, that either excites you or relaxes you, and put aside time to participate in this on a regular basis. As the addict becomes more taxing to live with, children and partners become more taxed. No one escapes the pain and long-term effects of addiction.

The emotions become intergenerational even if the alcohol doesn’t. Additionally, you don’t have to cope with anger and hate towards somebody you love, creating loneliness. You have to give up the wish to be with the one you want because it becomes too disruptive to your insides. It gets harder to focus on your own life because managing or working around someone else takes priority. You lose that sense of ease and lightness in your day and yourself. You start to feel hopeless and helpless because you no longer know the person you love. You often forget that this person is an addict because drinking has become incorporated into their everyday life.